03 Apr

[Day 9-24] #unfatme365v2.0 – it all started with a ‘snacksident’.

Ok well the daily entries kind of took a nose dive here, but I have done ok all things considered.  Still too many cheat meals, and prep and organizing still needs works, but I am hanging in there.

2 weeks ago I made some poor decisions and either coincidentally or because them got sick.  Getting sick also seemed to cause me a big week of joint and body pain, and with the spring thaw and weather change, my probably arthritic, previously fractured ankle complete with a plate and pins started giving me a lot of grief… and yes I fully realize this is massively compounded by my weight …

So when I say it started with a ‘Snacksident’ that is literally how it felt…

So I got through it, the 2nd week was much better and I feel I am back on track.  I am not starting over again, but as phase 1 comes to a close I have not accomplished everything I set out too.  The joint pain and limited mobility was something I really underestimated so I have to rejig my plan going into phase 2, but hopefully with the treachery of being fat, poorly balanced, and sometimes hobbling on ice is gone, I can start building my mobility now.

So I am back to writing … will be back to tracking … and back to moving forward.  I don’t like having to just hang my hat on a moral victory, so I can’t call phase 1 a success, but I haven’t quit, I haven’t killed myself with self loathing and being ultra negative, I have learned a lot, and am still looking forward.

Chris
#neverquitneversatisfied
#unfatme365
#flippersup

19 Mar

[Day 8] … also a little late … #unfatme365 v2.0

I need to start my evening updates sooner I guess I keep forgetting when I go to sleep early.

Good day … hung out with my friend enjoyed a cheat meal, and got my groceries for the week so I can stay on top of things … Starting off the week looking forward to building on what I have done already.  And looking for a much better week 2.

Onward and upward, keep pushing.

Chris
#unfatme365
#flippersinmotion

18 Mar

[Day 7] a little late … #unfatme365 v2.0

Well the work week ended alright, definitely some angst and unknown with what was going on there, but so far seems good which is a relief.

Overall the week was much improved, not perfect by any stretch, but something I can build on.  SO on to week 2.  Lets keep this train on the tracks and moving forward.

Chris
#unfatme365
#flippersinmotion

16 Mar

[Day 6] #unfatme365 v2.0

Today was much like yesterday, it went well overall, but done in when I got home … stuck on track though so that part is positive.

Need to have a good weekend to get the home environment, organization, and prep on track, need to stay ahead of the game and find a good routine, I still am fighting it some.

I also need to bear down mentally for the weekend, the first weekend is where v1.0 really derailed.  Failing to take care of the things above … so that is the main thing, transfer these good feelings and decent few days into something more sustained.

I sit and ponder mistakes, I punish myself inside for them, I turn it into a downward spiral until I reach for a quick easy relief, a temporary good feeling… but that shortly makes it worse.

I have to be accountable for my actions, but the punishment can’t be internal, it can’t fester and be piled onto, it has to go outward, in the form of working harder, and pushing myself to be better.  To atone for errors, not swim in self hating guilt until it’s overwhelming and causes failure.

I am right there … do I dig in, or do I cycle downward?  I have to prove it with action, but I finally believe I am capable of digging in.

Chris
#unfatme365
#flippersup
#punishconstructive

16 Mar

[Day 5] Late update … it’s Mel’s fault … #unfatme365 v2.0

Day 5 was good overall, made some good meals, ended the day completely wiped out though.  Not sure if I am still getting used to Daylight Savings or my program or something else, but I felt like I had no energy.

Former me would have 100% ordered supper, and while slicing vegetables seems like way too much work, I did opt in for some grilled chicken and salsa… Salsa the savior of maintaining your healthy plan (for the most part its pretty on track) when cooking seems so daunting.

I am blaming Mel’s Photoshop project demands for missing the update.


How I looked when I realized I forgot to post again…

Chris
#unfatme365
#flippersinmotion